It probably didn’t help that I had a … My Documents folder Window open (… I have no idea what they’re called, sadly) with a folder of almost 400 images in the Thumbnails view setting (woo, look at that CPU speed shoot through the roof!) that I was attempting to close.

(It was my Amy Lee 2 folder. Yes I have enough images in one folder to warrant the creation of a second folder. Why am I talking about this? I have no idea. One would think that I’d find it horribly embarrassing to post on the internet that I have almost 1500 images of Amy Lee on my computer. — And I’m just saving pictures to analyze her style, sheesh!)

I think I really do need help … for my laptop, I mean.

This did remind me of another complaint I have though: it takes forever to go from My Computer to either the Windows folder or Program Files folder. Also the My Music folder (moved it to C:\ when my laptop was running at a fraction of a snail’s speed after installing SP 2), but not as slowly, so it’s not that bad. Sometimes it also takes a few seconds to load the C:\ drive itself, and the little flashlight beams around searching for it. (Helloooo, Windows, where aaare you? Olly olly oxen freee!)

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I do believe that Amy and Ben didn’t really mean to make Evanescence a Christian band. I think (my opinion) that they just loved God so much, and when you love someone (or something … x.x), you just want to share it with everyone. God was a big part of their lives, so how could he not show up in their songs? But! What they weren’t doing was writing worship songs or songs telling everyone how great God is, ‘you should love God too!’ (“We want people to know that your salvation is not going to keep people from hurting you and it’s not going to stop you from feeling pain. But you are not alone. God made you the way you are for a reason. There are other people who think, feel, and dream the same way you do and Christ will never abandon you whether you go through trials or not.”)

Then they got big and everyone could see the Christian bits so they called Ev a Christian band even though Ev wasn’t trying to tell people about God or anything. I don’t really know why they decided to deny their religion had anything to do with their music; money, fame, or maybe they just didn’t want to limit their music to one audience? Whatever.

David Hodges is gone, and I think he’s in a Christian band now. Ben Moody’s gone, and he’s done some religious music. Amy Lee’s the member who is left, and she’s said she feels her relationship with God is personal and private. (I feel that way too. ^^;; Omigosh were so alyke we cud b bffs if she new meee!! … /end sarcasm. I mean, I understand what she’s saying.) John Lecompt and Rocky Gray were in Christian bands, too, right? You never know if God may slip in one of their songs. ;b

Not that I want to bring up that whole “OMG they so are/aren’t a Christian band!!!1″ controversy. I never really thought they were a Christian band after they said they weren’t. I still don’t. I just thought it was … very interesting and different, that article. ^_^;;

…

What I was looking for originally:

[Going Under] was um, the last song we wrote for Fallen. It’s the most recent, and it actually was more collaborative than any other song we’ve written in the past. … We were working on it all at once and she really branched out vocally and did a lot of really really cool sultry stuff on the verses which hadn’t been done by us yet.
–Ben Moody (in the “Making of the Video” … video

When I first heard that I was hoping Evanescence would make more songs like Going Under. It’s my favorite song of theirs. Along with Lies and Everybody’s Fool. ^^

Just because I feel like it, what Amy said in the video:

Well, Going Under to me is sort of um, an empowering song, it’s sort of like a really strong um, almost angry song, for me, and I wanted the video to really express sort of like this dark, like powerful, um, anger.

I still haven’t watched the Making of Fallen pt II video. pooh. First thing I’ll do after my chem final! XD Er, when I get home, that is.

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hah. Um. Woke up around 11. Went on the comp for a while, retitled entries … moved quiz results to tfjlj … ate lunch, leftover burger … took N C R to Best Buy (scraped the curb x.x durr), Toys R Us, Target.

At Target I spent all my time putting all the CDs in order. ^^;; That was fun though! My hands got dirty. Yuck. I managed to not spend any money! XP Not like that’s much of a feat. I’m saving up my money for clothes, and we didn’t go to Best Buy.

I’m thinking of buying NFG’s Sticks and Stones album (the one I lost to teh eatering CD changer), but only if it’s $12 or less. ehehe *sweatdrop*

And I feel like watching anime. So I might buy something or other. But I really have no idea what I want to watch. I have no idea what’s good. Haibane Renmei was all right. Chobits … eh, it’s just fun. I have the manga anyway. Inuyasha, I want to buy the boxset, same for … that one anime. (starts with a b *shifty eyes* [2009-09-13: Boogiepop Phantom?]) Meh, I don’t know. I’m not into anime that much anymore.

Came home. I watched the Ev DVD before dinner. heh. Kinda surprised by how they act. By the end I was kinda disappointed and I didn’t like Amy Lee as much as I used to. But now I’m telling myself I’m stupid and she can act however oddly and stupidly she wants, I’m no judge, I still admire her and everything, and she’s a good person, so what’s wrong? (She was drunk! :o But mostly I was disgusted by this sex move she did on her friend *rolleyes* Whatever.)

The concert on the DVD is terrible, with its awful music video-esque direction. I like the videos I downloaded off the internet more. Even including the image quality. Geez! The concert looks like she’s not even singing! Like they coulda stuck video of anyone in there and it wouldn’t have looked any more off! They cut away too much, show little snippets too much, there’s no loooooong camera view on her or anyone. Or maybe that’s just the first minute or two. I don’t know. I don’t want to watch any more of it anyway. ugh.

Dinner. Comp. After that C bugged me to play Texas holdem with him and R and he asked Daddy too, so we all played. Fun. Y’know. At first. After a while we got bored. So … all in, and Daddy won. Of course. >b Um. Yeah, that’s it.

There were lightning/thunder storms today. In addition to the rainstorm. XD There was even a tornado somewhere around the Catalina islands a while ago. o.o! Um. About the Asia thing. It’s just so sad. Actually, I’m not really all that sad that so many people died. I’m more sad that everyone else who survived and knows someone who died is suffering now. And. Uh. I want to donate money. Some to help Asia, and some to the St. Jude’s hospital. Buuut … I’m being lazy and/or chickenshit and I’m not doing anything. mreh. I should ask Mum for help. ^^ Yeah.

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LJ graphics shtuff, a page for all my (old) graphics I made for Livejournal

Only the index page works. I haven’t made the layouts page or credit page. I really don’t care all that much about credit. :b But I needed a third link for the lj layout, so yeah. It’s very very … incomplete. Haha.

See, I was bored a day or two ago because ev_icons and (especially) ev_layouts were running kind of slow, so I started making this header because I’d just saved a bunch of new Amy Lee images. I finished it tonight, but I’m not really one to post in communities, and I’d been thinking about making something for all the old stuff I make. I didn’t want a photobucket gallery ’cause I knew people could hotlink it and my allotted bandwidth would run out. :b So geocities came to mind and yeah. There ya go.

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Launch isn’t working for me at the moment. :( Maybe ’cause I’m uploading my GM archives. ^^; Very slowly. ‘Cause the connection keeps timing out after a while. Ah well. I’m up to entry 125 of 236. Yup.

Guess what I downloaded! Amy Lee’s appearances on Cartoon Network! XP She said she had a bit of stage fright ’cause it’s hard being cute. Ahaha. And she had pigtails. Why is it she has fuller hair than I do, but her pigtails look less bushy than mine? Maybe ’cause she doesn’t brush them all out nicely like mine … >.> Dunno. But still. Eeee! I like non-goth Amy! XP She’s so cool.

Ooh. Last night I watched The Five Senses on IFC. It was weird. And I’m thinking it got only two stars because it was a rather slow movie. *nodnod* But I still liked it. Nice movie to stay up late watching on a random weekday. :P And the name of the little girl that got lost was Amy Lee! XD Her full name was Amy Lee Miller. I wanna name a girl Amy Lee … I’ve been thinking lately, ‘I’d like to name a kid such and such.’ Hehe. I was thinking of Nina as a name, too. What’s next, Natalie? :b~

I want to go on a poster shopping spree on the Anime Castle website. But I keep thinking about the Chobits poster they never sent ’cause it was backordered more than a month before Christmas. >_> And it cost over $11 too! It was a clear poster … and I don’t see it in their store now … I don’t even really remember what it looked like … meh. Just wasn’t meant to be. But still. $11! Mum gave me back my money, ’cause she was too lazy to ask them for the poster or a refund. She said it’s only money. But I’m not thinking of the money. I’m thinking, I paid, expecting something! And I want something! I don’t want a refund! Er. Maybe I do. Oh well.

I want to buy … an Angel Sanctuary poster … an Inu Yasha poster … and one or two Totoro posters … I guess it isn’t really a spree. Eheh. Oh well. I took down my $25 Queen Amidala poster and my Sakura Wars oav poster. I got tired of them. I moved my Snoopy poster in their place, and moved the other posters around … but now I have lots of pink wall above my desk. o.o So I want more posters. >b Well actually, I also want to replace my two Pokemon posters and my Gundam Wing poster above my bed. Actually, one Pokemon poster is there so my head won’t dirty the wall. ^^;; It’s got a tear in one side of it … :x

Mum said she’d try to cut my hair like Yukari’s! Yay. But then she threw in, “You’ll have all summer to grow it out,” so I’m afraid. Haha.

I rented The Last Emperor to get pictures of that lady’s haircut. ^.^; Yeah, I got two images, and I lightened them so they’re easier to see (and it was weird, ’cause I usually darken images :B). Except they’re on M88′s computer still, and he’s not on. >_> So I can’t get them. ;_;

Lori said “crap” in a comment she posted on my journal. I don’t mean to be a hypocrite or anything. I don’t really care if other people cuss (at least I try not to ^^;). And I kinda think not-so-nice words every so often … but I don’t like certain people to cuss. Namely my relatives. ^^;;; One time N said “bitch” (not to anyone, he just said it) and I was so shocked, but C didn’t seem to make much notice of it, so I tried to play it cool. ^.^; *is a dork* But uh anyway I never ever ever use cuss words out loud, unless I’m just saying the word. And I’m gonna stop typing it out online where Lori can see it. Even if I am that pissed off.

I know I’m not supposed to say “bad words” because it might offend other people. I definitely don’t want to offend other people. Nor do I want to be offended when other people say them. ^^;; But I don’t know. Sometimes words just fit. Sometimes the world is just so negative … I wonder what it’s like, telepathy. Something that transcends words …

But I’m also trying to not talk about my beliefs because I know it makes everyone uncomfortable. <_< Like when Lori brings up NDEs and reincarnation at the dinner table and I know where she’s been getting it all from (Mum and me). ^^;; And then Auntie and Uncle say things that I want to correct, but I don’t, because it’s their beliefs and they’re not hurting anyone so why should I disrupt them? *shrugs*

I am also not liking Your-site.com. x_x;; I mean, it’s reeeeally nice, I like the people who own/run it, but it’s a bit more simplified than I was looking for. (I completely forgot to check that I could create more ftp accounts!!! ARRRRGH! >_<) I want a Cyberpixels account (or even iPowerWeb, even though I don’t have that much money ^^;;;;), but I can’t, because Noelle and Lori use Greymatter and Cyberpixels doesn’t allow that script ’cause of security problems. x.x Guh. I don’t get any subdomains with y-s.com, I can’t make more ftp accounts, I don’t have any MySQL databases, and only one domain per plan. *sigh* And with Cyberpixels I could have had a free third domain name. >b Yeah, I’m starting to want crimsoncut.com again.

Ummm … I also want a blog on there. Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m putting on an act with my blog/public LJ entries. I’m not— it’s me, but it feels like an act, because I know Lori and Noelle will be reading it, so I kinda up the happy chipperness a bit. ^^;; And that blog would not be associated with my current sites at all. I’d even use another nickname on there. I’d call myself Marcy. :b So that way there’re no ties to my real life. >b Yeay, happy dreams.

Sad thoughts: Amy Lee was mentioned on the egl community because the dress she wore was designed by h.Naoto. WAO! XD So cool! I didn’t know that, but I really liked her dress. I thought she designed it, like her other dresses, but she didn’t, and this is so cool because it’s h.Naoto!!!

I’ve decided that I like Atelier Boz and h.Naoto both. And when I get a fulltime job and am settled in a home, I shall blow big bucks on $200+ clothing items and pay someone in Japan to buy for me ’cause they don’t ship to the US.

But anyway. So on the egl community everyone (but one person) was saying they didn’t like Amy Lee. And one person even said Amy doesn’t wear her clothes very well. o_O I mean, okay, it’s their opinion, nothing to get riled up over. But it still makes me sad. Because I think she’s a great person. Human, yeah (thinking of the Cold incident), but she’s still a good role model for girls. (IE, she’s telling them to not wear skimpy clothing, unlike Christina Aguilera. Is it just me, or did the dress she wear at the Grammys look like she was spreading her legs on her chest? o_O [Yes I'm weird I know that. >.>;;])

And then they were all worrying that her wearing h.Naoto would make EGL or punk loli a fad in America, and that they’d all be called “Amy Lee wannabes” when they were all wearing it first. But she designs her own clothes (even though they go under the goth or punk label most of the time), and she’s not following someone else’s trends.

Okay now I’m just rambling and not making sense to myself.

Ooh, I made a mini movie icon for Livejournal. :D It’s not very good and it’s a bit short and choppy and headache-inducing. But lj has insane limits. Har har. I want to make a mini movie of the scene where she’s looking at the kites (the part that’s right there) and then the part where she’s on the ground next to the tower ’cause she jumped off it. *blink* Am I being morbid? I dunno. They didn’t have that scene in the music video. So now I’m stuck with the old DVD player that freezes after ten seconds of this region 0 disc or the new DVD player which doesn’t take screenshots. >.<

So I was looking at the Lily Chou-Chou fansite ’cause I couldn’t remember why I didn’t download the movie clips (they’re in .mov format, and I don’t like Quicktime on my laptop), and now I feel like watching the movie again. ^^;;; Freaky schoolgirls who tell guy classmates to “scare” another girl classmate because they’re jealous of her piano skillz, then when the guys rape her, they say “Idiots! Oh well.”

And moving from that disturbing scene, I also want to see Dumbo again. ^^;; What? Last year I read that it’s supposed to be a “perfect imitation of a Disney film” because Walt had nothing to do with it and yet they were able to rehash everything he’s ever done in a movie. :b And someone else said the pink elephants scene was utterly pointless dribble, but I never thought so. It scared me as a kid, but I also thought it was really entertaining. ^^ I also have to see the Emperor’s New Groove. Is that what it’s called? I was reading this Disney book in the college library on Disney storyboards, and they were talking about this movie called “Kingdom of the Sun” about an emperor who was turned into a llama. Yeah. I also want that book. Preeeetty paintings! ;.; Mum has this book on Pinocchio and the art in it. There’s an amazing painting of that bar of soap. :P

And now I’m bored with typing so baibai. (5:53, wow)