But I don’t want to whine and complain and criticize. I just thought it was interesting, in the back there’s this interview with her, and she says

[What is your own spiritual background?] A long pilgrimage that has led me from my family background as a Baptist, to the traditions of the Episcopal and Catholic churches, married to a Jewish man, and now discovering New Age spirituality.

That’s cool. ^^ Too bad it’s New Age she got into and not Old Age. Maybe I woulda agreed with the book more. Not that there’s anything wrong with New Age, necessarily.

I also didn’t read the end after Jesus left. I just got really bored with the book. Next book I plan to buy, The Woman with the Alabaster Jar.

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Um. My CD-player in my car ate my CDs. They were my Muse “Absolution” and New Found Glory “Sticks and Stones” CDs. :( (Then of course M88 had to make a jab at NFG, calling them mainstream … *rolleyes*) Yeah. The CD-player’s been acting up for a while anyway. Maybe up to a month or so. First, when the first CD finished and it switched to the second CD, it’d only say ERR and then no music. Last week it worked, though … but then today my CDs won’t come out. O_o They both played fine while I was driving home. They just won’t come out. Or reload into the CD player. (It keeps saying ERR.)

Niiice way to end such a great week. Mum said that everyone’s been having a bad week. O.o M88 had his wallet stolen because he forgot to lock up his pants during P.E. … but the person who stole it did NOT find his MP3 player in the other pocket. :O Talk about luck. Or stupidity, on the thief’s part. :b

Anyway. Mum also threw in a comment about … yeah, negative vibes around us. Hm. They traveled with me all the way to college. *laughs* Or maybe someone’s got a voodoo doll with our last name on it. *nodnod* (Even though voodoo dolls don’t work. … After Sylvia Browne said that she also said that voodon is a beautiful religion. o.o I didn’t know there was a religion.)

I finished reading The Da Vinci Code this week. Yesterday, to be exact. (Wednesday yesterday, not Thursday yesterday. >_>) I only had a couple pages left to read. I read the majority of the ending on Monday. I didn’t have any chem work to do (or none that I could remember anyway -_-;;;) and I didn’t feel like taking my math book with me. So I spent most my time reading that. :b I even read during Logic. We were working on … syllogism. Which I don’t remember the definition of at the moment. (On Monday it was easy. But then on Wednesday they stepped it up and my mind was kind of fuzzy/sleepy and I felt so lost. ;_;)

So on Monday I looked through the book, because Mum wondered where Dan Brown did his research because it sounded a lot like what Sylvia Browne said. In the front there was an Acknowledgement page and the author thanked The Gnostic Society Library. XD That’s so cool! You have to admit that’s cool or I don’t like you any more. *turns away* Okay I’m being weird. But it’s still cool. I wonder what sort of stuff they have in there. Hopefully nothing like what I read in this one bookstore about the history of Gnosticism. >_> (It said Gnosticism started in the Hellenistic Age and came from paganism. O_o?)

The only really weird part about the book for me is the sex ritual stuff. Poor misguided fools. I’m not saying sex isn’t good. *blink* … *coughs* But they made it … like a part of their beliefs. Really odd interpretation. … Of this, uh, thing, I don’t know what it’s called, but you need male and female traits to become spiritually whole. The book (I know it’s a novel …) said that, then the character went off about the sex ritual stuff, and I just thought, ‘Whuzzat? O_o’ Hm, I wonder who it was who said you need male and female … or something like that, I don’t remember exactly what Mum told me. What it means is you need intelligence and emotion to become spiritually whole.

My brain is too tired to even understand what I’m trying to think. Oh well.

To explain the title of this entry … (and everyone goes to check it out) … I have my own theory about this bad week. You see. There was one very different event that happened this week that’s never happened before. I got on aim Monday night to talk to Adam, I did. At the end of the convo he wished me a GOOD WEEK. Yes. Adam? Don’t ever do that again. :b

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I don’t like doing dishes. :b *goes to do dishes*

*back* I should go to bed now. Yeah. Almost 10. Oh well.

Anyway. What I wanted to say (that seemed inane) is that a few days after I installed the Windows XP SP Pack 2 I remembered why I didn’t want to install it. :b M88′s computer has Windows Media Player 9. The study comp has WMP 9. Mum and Daddy’s has WMP 9. I used to have WMP XP on my laptop. I Do Not Like version 9. For two main reasons:

1) It doesn’t count the number of times a song has been played … I know it was very pointless … but … I can’t help it, I have this … weird … condition … where everything has to be even. So I got addicted to making all my songs played the same number. >_> It was the main reason I stayed away from WinAmp so long. *so sad* And I didn’t want to just drop that! Kind of like Monk … He was pouring decaf and caffeinated coffee back and forth to “make them even.” XDDD I understood that part of the show completely … rather sad … also the part where he kept walking funny so he wouldn’t step on the spaces between the pavers. ^^;; It took me a long time to drop that habit. But anyway. Reason 2:

2) The columns on the lists keep readjusting so that the whole title/artist is displayed. o_< It gets really annoying when I’m scrolling through the list quickly! And I used to have the columns spaced in very exact widths, so I could read all titles but two, all artists, about half the album titles, times, and genres. And Microsoft (or whoever) had to go and idiot-proof it. Arrrrggghh. Stupid thing. *kicks*

The first thing I got over after a while. ^^;;; Just today I started re-organizing my Favorites playlist, ’cause I didn’t feel like listening to my rock playlist on WinAmp. (Yeah, all my playlists got jumbled up. O_o?) But the second thing I haven’t gotten over yet, in all the time that I’ve ever used WMP 9. *sigh* Ah well.

Last annoying thing, that didn’t have to do specifically with version 9 … I can’t move single files around. I thought I’d figured out how to do it tonight (hold down the mouse button for a second on the one file) but after a while it stopped working and I’d be highlighting all these songs … ugh. So my Favorites playlist is still more than half messed up. Hm. I think I have to update my music list … *adds that to her long to-do list for her site*

Um. Other random things. I want internet access on my cellphone. >_> I just want to be able to sign on aim on it. ^^;; I get bored between classes … especially lately since I don’t go to bed early enough and I’m tired/sleepy and I can’t keep my mind on my work or on a random book I’m reading in the library. I haven’t ready The Pain Nobody Wants in the looongest time. Dang chemistry and its intrusive ways. Oh yeah. Lab tomorrow. One where we mix scary chemicals and see reactions. Horrible. Oh yeah. o_o Gotta print those graphs. *thanks the Lord for remembering* … *thanks her spirit guide for poking her* … yeah.

I still haven’t given a name to my spirit guide. ^^;; I think the only real reason is because I don’t know if this person is male or female, and I don’t want to … erm. Call a guy Marcy or call a girl … I dunno. :b But anyway. I want aim! M88 can sign on aim with his phone. He can’t send or receive messages, but he can sign on. And we’re not supposed to have internet access on these phones … The funny thing is, he’ll sign on, then sign off, but he’ll still show as online until he gets on a computer and signs off. Yes, we tested this thoroughly. XP And Sam apparently has mobile access as well … *jealous* I should get his number, then we could text each other. hehe.

Boingy boingy boingy boingy boingy boingy … says W88.

I dun wanna go to classes. Mainly because I’m always tired and yawning and I can’t really keep my mind on everything. o_o Counterproductive, my staying up, no? Oh well. At least my professors postponed the quizzes until next week. XD

Lori said “crap” in a comment she posted on my journal. I don’t mean to be a hypocrite or anything. I don’t really care if other people cuss (at least I try not to ^^;). And I kinda think not-so-nice words every so often … but I don’t like certain people to cuss. Namely my relatives. ^^;;; One time N said “bitch” (not to anyone, he just said it) and I was so shocked, but C didn’t seem to make much notice of it, so I tried to play it cool. ^.^; *is a dork* But uh anyway I never ever ever use cuss words out loud, unless I’m just saying the word. And I’m gonna stop typing it out online where Lori can see it. Even if I am that pissed off.

I know I’m not supposed to say “bad words” because it might offend other people. I definitely don’t want to offend other people. Nor do I want to be offended when other people say them. ^^;; But I don’t know. Sometimes words just fit. Sometimes the world is just so negative … I wonder what it’s like, telepathy. Something that transcends words …

But I’m also trying to not talk about my beliefs because I know it makes everyone uncomfortable. <_< Like when Lori brings up NDEs and reincarnation at the dinner table and I know where she’s been getting it all from (Mum and me). ^^;; And then Auntie and Uncle say things that I want to correct, but I don’t, because it’s their beliefs and they’re not hurting anyone so why should I disrupt them? *shrugs*

I am also not liking Your-site.com. x_x;; I mean, it’s reeeeally nice, I like the people who own/run it, but it’s a bit more simplified than I was looking for. (I completely forgot to check that I could create more ftp accounts!!! ARRRRGH! >_<) I want a Cyberpixels account (or even iPowerWeb, even though I don’t have that much money ^^;;;;), but I can’t, because Noelle and Lori use Greymatter and Cyberpixels doesn’t allow that script ’cause of security problems. x.x Guh. I don’t get any subdomains with y-s.com, I can’t make more ftp accounts, I don’t have any MySQL databases, and only one domain per plan. *sigh* And with Cyberpixels I could have had a free third domain name. >b Yeah, I’m starting to want crimsoncut.com again.

Ummm … I also want a blog on there. Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m putting on an act with my blog/public LJ entries. I’m not— it’s me, but it feels like an act, because I know Lori and Noelle will be reading it, so I kinda up the happy chipperness a bit. ^^;; And that blog would not be associated with my current sites at all. I’d even use another nickname on there. I’d call myself Marcy. :b So that way there’re no ties to my real life. >b Yeay, happy dreams.

Sad thoughts: Amy Lee was mentioned on the egl community because the dress she wore was designed by h.Naoto. WAO! XD So cool! I didn’t know that, but I really liked her dress. I thought she designed it, like her other dresses, but she didn’t, and this is so cool because it’s h.Naoto!!!

I’ve decided that I like Atelier Boz and h.Naoto both. And when I get a fulltime job and am settled in a home, I shall blow big bucks on $200+ clothing items and pay someone in Japan to buy for me ’cause they don’t ship to the US.

But anyway. So on the egl community everyone (but one person) was saying they didn’t like Amy Lee. And one person even said Amy doesn’t wear her clothes very well. o_O I mean, okay, it’s their opinion, nothing to get riled up over. But it still makes me sad. Because I think she’s a great person. Human, yeah (thinking of the Cold incident), but she’s still a good role model for girls. (IE, she’s telling them to not wear skimpy clothing, unlike Christina Aguilera. Is it just me, or did the dress she wear at the Grammys look like she was spreading her legs on her chest? o_O [Yes I'm weird I know that. >.>;;])

And then they were all worrying that her wearing h.Naoto would make EGL or punk loli a fad in America, and that they’d all be called “Amy Lee wannabes” when they were all wearing it first. But she designs her own clothes (even though they go under the goth or punk label most of the time), and she’s not following someone else’s trends.

Okay now I’m just rambling and not making sense to myself.

Ooh, I made a mini movie icon for Livejournal. :D It’s not very good and it’s a bit short and choppy and headache-inducing. But lj has insane limits. Har har. I want to make a mini movie of the scene where she’s looking at the kites (the part that’s right there) and then the part where she’s on the ground next to the tower ’cause she jumped off it. *blink* Am I being morbid? I dunno. They didn’t have that scene in the music video. So now I’m stuck with the old DVD player that freezes after ten seconds of this region 0 disc or the new DVD player which doesn’t take screenshots. >.<

So I was looking at the Lily Chou-Chou fansite ’cause I couldn’t remember why I didn’t download the movie clips (they’re in .mov format, and I don’t like Quicktime on my laptop), and now I feel like watching the movie again. ^^;;; Freaky schoolgirls who tell guy classmates to “scare” another girl classmate because they’re jealous of her piano skillz, then when the guys rape her, they say “Idiots! Oh well.”

And moving from that disturbing scene, I also want to see Dumbo again. ^^;; What? Last year I read that it’s supposed to be a “perfect imitation of a Disney film” because Walt had nothing to do with it and yet they were able to rehash everything he’s ever done in a movie. :b And someone else said the pink elephants scene was utterly pointless dribble, but I never thought so. It scared me as a kid, but I also thought it was really entertaining. ^^ I also have to see the Emperor’s New Groove. Is that what it’s called? I was reading this Disney book in the college library on Disney storyboards, and they were talking about this movie called “Kingdom of the Sun” about an emperor who was turned into a llama. Yeah. I also want that book. Preeeetty paintings! ;.; Mum has this book on Pinocchio and the art in it. There’s an amazing painting of that bar of soap. :P

And now I’m bored with typing so baibai. (5:53, wow)

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Now, for the looongest time, my CD-player has been a bit broked. Sometimes it’ll just up and start skipping all over the place and pausing and going back and … yeah, skipping all over the place. This time I just sat there and mentally glared at it. Then I started wondering if it was some spirit or something … like how they mess with electricity and the blinds and … whatall, I don’t know, to let people know they’re around. Never heard of them fooling with CD players, but there’s always a first, no?

So then I didn’t feel like going to fix it ^^;; (if I open it, close it, and start it all over again, it usually fixes). I thought of saying out loud to the spirit (if there was one, dunno), “Can’t you find another way of telling me you’re here? This is annoying.” But then I didn’t want to … uhh … talk out loud. ^.^;;

Started to get really annoying though, of course. So I got up and reached out my hand to open the case and it started playing normally. This isn’t all that odd; I pulled back my hand and it started skipping again. -_-;; I don’t know why, but it does that a lot. Then I just yelled out, “That isn’t funny!!” and it started playing normally again. O_O *is very very scared*

Um. *koff* Kind of straying away from what I want to say here. Okay. I suppose that I’m too close to WWII. Or it’s too close to me. I’m not sure which it is. Anyway.

My dad says Suddam has killed more Muslims than anyone else in the world, past or present. (What religion is Suddam? Suddamism? Suddamity? Suddamish? ^_^;; *is so totally ignorant*) We also didn’t know how horrible Hitler was until after the war was over. Okay okay okay I realize I am totally out of it and this argument is probably being discussed elsewhere (including messageboards) and that there are probably hundreds of rebuttals (don’t laugh at me if I misspelled that … *thinking Simpsons*). So no one flame me or shove anything down my throat. This is personal rambling.

I guess I’m like Mommy. 50/50. If war happens, I see the reason for it. If war doesn’t happen, I’d see reasons for that happening too. (Although if we didn’t have war because of something other than Congress or Bush or any governmentshtuffpeople retracting everything, then I would be very very red [boiling red!] and blue [bluer than the deepest ocean]. Why? Because I don’t want to be hit with a nukular warhead. ;_; [No I'm not being selfish. I'm thinking Hiroshima. I'm thinking Bachan and all those other people who SHOULD NOT have to go through it again.])

I should think of the other side now. I can’t. o_o Well obviously I don’t want war because the draft will be called up again, and that would be the stupidest thing ever (no not really stupid … but ebil and cruel and not right at all). A lot of people will die. (Yet I think of the people dying right now for no reason. Wait. The reason is that no one’s stopping Suddam. I also think of all the people fighting for the US who’ve died so far. I think not one of them was killed in combat. Am I right? They’re all dying in car crashes or some such accident.) I’m horrible at this. What other reason? O.O Other countries would go to war with us … and it would start WWIII, no duh. Although that does have to happen, I think. I don’t know why.

Before I thought that no way would God let a third world war happen. But then again, who’s to say he “lets” anything happen here? We’re not His puppets. We have free will. Everyone chooses their own destiny (and HAHAHA that is more true than the phrase suggests, i.e. writing out our life charts before we’re born). Well anyway. So God doesn’t make things happen to us. We let things happen to ourselves. We cause things to happen to ourselves. So maybe that’s why I think God would “let” a third world war happen now.

(And where’d I get the free will and God not letting things happen from? Xenocide. XPP Well. Not exactly. It had something about asking God to stop something. I thought, ‘How would God stop it? Humans are doing it. Of their own free will.’ And that reminded me of the stuff about free will in A Ring of Endless Light. Or was it another of those books? Not sure. But anyway. When I first read the free will thing [and the last time too, in fact] I thought, ‘BS. Interesting thought and everything. But it’s not just that.’ Um. I’m not quite sure what I thought. ^_^;; It was a while ago. I should reread it. I wonder what part it’s in. ._.)

Okay I forget what I was talking about. o.o;; Owell. It’s all gone. Well not really. I’m still pretty 50/50 while leaning toward we need to shut up Suddam. Yup yup.

Aaaarrrgh [people see different heavens at death article] … I almost scratched the screen reading that. ^.^;; Em well anyway, it couldn’t have anything to do with the eyes, ’cause the light is so bright your eyes would be blinded, right? Or … I don’t know … *shrugs* Ah well.

It’s rather interesting. And ooh, that thing about Hindus seeing something else, isn’t that interesting? Doesn’t that kind of feed into the thought that Heaven isn’t just one big place for Christians, that right now there are different levels, and people are greeted with what they love the most? I’m not saying that they’re going to stay in Heaven *koffkoff* but I don’t know, it’s just … *shrugs*