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	<title>flimsysilence.net &#187; memory</title>
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	<link>http://flimsysilence.net</link>
	<description>a big dark echoing room and a girl trying to fill the silence</description>
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		<title>Friday Five (LJ) December 25 version</title>
		<link>http://flimsysilence.net/2009/12/30/friday-five-lj-december-25-version/</link>
		<comments>http://flimsysilence.net/2009/12/30/friday-five-lj-december-25-version/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 30 Dec 2009 08:04:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeidai</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Random]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bachan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[food]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[meme]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memory]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://flimsysilence.net/2009/12/30/friday-five-lj-december-25-version/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I was never good at doing Friday Fives on Friday, but here&#8217;s the latest one (from Livejournal). 1. What one food most reminds you of your childood? Is Japanese food an acceptable answer? If not, then probably udon. Or maybe homemade chow mein with scrambled egg strips in it, that was how Bachan made it. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I was never good at doing Friday Fives <em>on</em> Friday, but here&#8217;s the latest one (from Livejournal).</p>
<p>1. What one food most reminds you of your childood?<br />
Is Japanese food an acceptable answer? If not, then probably udon. Or maybe homemade chow mein with scrambled egg strips in it, that was how Bachan made it. :3</p>
<p>2. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bicycle?<br />
I was nine years old (or maybe ten, it was during the summer anyway) and I taught myself! Without a scratch. I even remember my bike, it had a teal paint scheme and pink handlebars and seat and white wheels.</p>
<p>3. How old were you when you stopped believing in Santa Claus?<br />
Eight years old, third grade, I remember some classmate was talking to other kids at his table saying he saw his mom doing Santa one night. Er I mean doing Santa&#8217;s job.</p>
<p>4. What was your favorite television show/cartoon when you were little?<br />
First answer that comes to mind is Ren &amp; Stimpy. :P I could also say Rugrats or The Simpsons (that one has lasting power, wow), but R&amp;S was the first I thought of. That might have been the first show my brothers and I would watch regularly on TV in its scheduled slot (Snick!), rather than whatever we had on VHS.</p>
<p>5. What is the youngest age you remember being and do you have a specific memory of when you were that age?<br />
Preschool age, three or four, and a memory from preschool: the teacher and his aide had just put us down on the carpet for our nap and drawn the curtains so the room was dark. The aide asked the teacher if he&#8217;d like a Coke, she was going to grab a Coke. I thought, &#8216;Lucky, they get to have soda whenever they want.&#8217; :P I&#8217;m an adult now too but I can&#8217;t have soda whenever I want! I have to remember all the sugar and carbonation and, depending on the soda, the caffeine that&#8217;s in those things. Ugh.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>nearly impossible</title>
		<link>http://flimsysilence.net/2008/06/03/nearly-impossible/</link>
		<comments>http://flimsysilence.net/2008/06/03/nearly-impossible/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 04 Jun 2008 06:15:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeidai</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Random]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Television]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Clean House]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memory]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[room]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://flimsysilence.net/?p=1035</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Darn, I keep running out of time to write here. Mrr. Maybe I should watch less Clean House every day &#8230; ? *gasp* Nevar! Oh well. Notes to self: gas, facial regime, reviews. Just to make this more of an entry, and less of &#8230; something junky that I&#8217;ll want to delete in a few [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Darn, I keep running out of time to write here. Mrr. Maybe I should watch less Clean House every day &#8230; ? *gasp* Nevar!</p>
<p>Oh well. Notes to self: gas, facial regime, reviews.</p>
<p>Just to make this more of an entry, and less of &#8230; something junky that I&#8217;ll want to delete in a few months &#8230;</p>
<p>After about half a year (more?) of regularly watching Clean House on weekdays, I&#8217;ve decided to &#8220;take a big girl pill&#8221; and am getting rid of two childhood dolls! The reason I was keeping them was because &#8230; they were from my childhood.</p>
<p>Well, the pink doll I kept because I found while viewing a home video that I got it for my first Christmas. (Still having reservations about getting rid of it, but I have to look at it when I get home.) The purple doll I kept because I thought Mum told me one of my aunts bought it specially for me, and it was handmade. I had to rethink that when I saw a JCPenney tag printed on it. (JCPenney didn&#8217;t print tags on socks, right? This doll was made from sock-ish material.)</p>
<p>Now that summer&#8217;s here (or at least a week or two for me, then it&#8217;s work for the rest of the summer), I&#8217;ve got free time for my annual cleaning out and reorganizing of my closet, and I will more mercilessly look at the things I&#8217;m keeping and try to free up some dearly needed <strong>space</strong>.</p>
<p>Then my room can show off how I am now becoming an adult! (Another line from the show, excuse me, I have Clean House fever&#8230;)</p>
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		<item>
		<title>weird deja vu</title>
		<link>http://flimsysilence.net/2008/04/05/weird-deja-vu/</link>
		<comments>http://flimsysilence.net/2008/04/05/weird-deja-vu/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 06 Apr 2008 06:56:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeidai</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Random]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memory]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://flimsysilence.net/?p=1019</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I was skimming over an old entry where I wrote about a feeling I had of deja vu (&#8230; which I got while I was writing the entry). Then I remembered another moment of deja vu I had recently (yesterday, to be precise, if I can get this entry posted before midnight), so I thought [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I was skimming over an old entry where I wrote about a feeling I had of deja vu (&#8230; which I got while I was writing the entry). Then I remembered another moment of deja vu I had recently (yesterday, to be precise, if I can get this entry posted before midnight), so I thought I&#8217;d write about it, &#8217;cause it was a little different.</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t remember the <em>exact</em> circumstances that happened, but I was editing the specification packet for the 2008 Bookbuilders West scholarship application (for GrC 439, Book Design Technology, that I took last quarter). I was on some control panel or another, moving my mouse over some option (a list of checkboxes or something similar, I think, although it&#8217;s not really important), when I felt that flash of deja vu.</p>
<p>It was a really short, simple flash. Not like other ones I&#8217;ve had where a series of things occur and I&#8217;m thinking as it&#8217;s all going on, &#8216;Yeah, that happens! And then that! Yeah! I remember it all!!&#8217; It was just, &#8216;Hey, I remember that.&#8217;</p>
<p>The odd part about it though was that, the time that I get the &#8220;memory&#8221; from (of course I don&#8217;t consider it a real memory, it&#8217;s probably something stuck in my subconscious rising to my conscious mind), is a <em>loooong</em> time ago, like high school maybe. Right after I felt the deja vu, I thought it was weird, because I never would have guessed &#8220;then&#8221; (whenever I first got the &#8220;memory&#8221;) that the deja vu would be here, Central California, in college, away from home, at <del>the ripe old age of</del> 23, working in InDesign, on a book, on an LCD monitor (never mind this newfangled <em>widescreen</em> nonsense).</p>
<p>I feel weird and different from everyone again, because I don&#8217;t think people talk about &#8220;memories&#8221; of when they had deja vu instances implanted in their minds. :( </p>
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		<item>
		<title>quarter life</title>
		<link>http://flimsysilence.net/2008/02/07/quarter-life/</link>
		<comments>http://flimsysilence.net/2008/02/07/quarter-life/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 08 Feb 2008 00:05:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeidai</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Random]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grandpa]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memory]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://flimsysilence.net/2008/02/07/quarter-life/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Over the weekend I remembered when my brothers and I were young, grammar school or middle school. We were out with Grandma and Grandpa for some reason or another, and C asked them for a quarter for the machine that dispenses little toys or candy. They gave him one, but he asked for another one [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Over the weekend I remembered when my brothers and I were young, grammar school or middle school. We were out with Grandma and Grandpa for some reason or another, and C asked them for a quarter for the machine that dispenses little toys or candy. They gave him one, but he asked for another one to spend because this one had his birth year on it and he didn&#8217;t want to spend it. (If you get a coin with your birth year on it, it&#8217;s good luck!)</p>
<p>Later (maybe a week or two) Grandma and Grandpa dropped by with a whole container full of coins that were minted in the years we were born. They said we had to separate them and we could have them. After we thanked them and got our coins, we didn&#8217;t know what to do with it all. The specialness was in randomly getting a coin with your birthyear, not collecting them and hoarding them. With <em>all</em> those &#8220;special&#8221; (to us) coins, they lost their fun.</p>
<p>(It was very sweet of my grandparents to do that, don&#8217;t get me wrong. Whenever they found something that we liked, they would tend to deluge us with it though. Too much grandparent love!)</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t know if we deposited them in our savings or if we turned them in for bills. But after I thought about those coins it dawned on me that as I get older, coins from my birthyear will become more and more rare. And I still want that specialness! I want that <em>this coin is as old as I am</em> feeling. So right then and there I decided to find coins with my birthyear and save them. I have a penny and a dime. Still need a quarter and a nickel. But no one better find these coins for me!</p>
<p>(Yes, my title is a horrible pun. I&#8217;ll turn 24 this year.)</p>
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		<item>
		<title>a memory I didn&#8217;t know I had</title>
		<link>http://flimsysilence.net/2007/11/15/a-memory-i-didnt-know-i-had/</link>
		<comments>http://flimsysilence.net/2007/11/15/a-memory-i-didnt-know-i-had/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 16 Nov 2007 07:55:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeidai</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Television]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memory]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://flimsysilence.net/2007/11/16/a-memory-i-didnt-know-i-had/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I was reading the X-Entertainment blog tonight, and he mentioned Wuzzles. I had no idea what that was, but it intrigued me so I searched the term and found The Wuzzles TV Show on Retro Junk, through Wikipedia. Nothing on the page really showed me anything interesting (except that Tress MacNeille was in it, hahaha!), [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I was reading the X-Entertainment blog tonight, and he mentioned Wuzzles. I had no idea what that was, but it intrigued me so I searched the term and found <a href="http://www.retrojunk.com/details_tvshows/13-the-wuzzles/">The Wuzzles TV Show</a> on Retro Junk, through Wikipedia.</p>
<p>Nothing on the page really showed me anything interesting (except that Tress MacNeille was in it, hahaha!), but I hit play on the video, just to really be able to get a visual of these two-in-one animals. The Wuzzles &#8220;logo&#8221; came onscreen and I thought, hey, that looks sort of familiar, but I must be thinking of something else. But then, the characters showed up, and I realized, hey! I&#8217;d seen those things before! I remember the bear-butterfly and the moose-seal and the crocodile!</p>
<p>I probably didn&#8217;t watch the show though. I remember some of the characters&#8217; designs, but I don&#8217;t remember one whit of plot or location or anything really.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s just weird, remembering something that you didn&#8217;t know you knew. I read the description of two animals in one, I saw the little picture of the characters, and nothing clicked, so when the video tickled my brain, it was <em>weird</em>.</p>
<p>Just thought I&#8217;d share this trippy show, and how old I really am, to somewhat remember it. *grin*</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Fruit Stand</title>
		<link>http://flimsysilence.net/2006/10/21/fruit-stand/</link>
		<comments>http://flimsysilence.net/2006/10/21/fruit-stand/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 22 Oct 2006 00:34:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeidai</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Random]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[food]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memory]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://flimsysilence.net/2006/10/21/fruit-stand/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m inputting old dreams into my dreamlog right now, and I found this one dream where I found some Fruit Stand drinks. Now I really want a Fruit Stand juice. >_> Even though the bottle mouth always bugged me and I was afraid I&#8217;d hurt myself on it. It doesn&#8217;t help that I just had [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;m inputting old dreams into my dreamlog right now, and I found this one dream where I found some Fruit Stand drinks. Now I really want a Fruit Stand juice. >_> Even though the bottle mouth always bugged me and I was afraid I&#8217;d hurt myself on it.</p>
<p>It doesn&#8217;t help that I just had a chicken sandwich with salsa in it, all pretty salty.</p>
<p>Fruit Staaaaand &#8230; *drools*</p>
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		<title>childhood Toys R Us</title>
		<link>http://flimsysilence.net/2006/02/12/childhood-toys-r-us/</link>
		<comments>http://flimsysilence.net/2006/02/12/childhood-toys-r-us/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 Feb 2006 04:43:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeidai</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Random]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memory]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rugrats]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://flimsysilence.net/?p=317</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I just had this memory flash of something from my childhood. For some reason I thought of the old old Toys R Us, the very back wall. I don&#8217;t remember what was there, wooden puzzles? Board games? Books? Something sort of boxy and flat like that. I seriously had not thought of that since &#8230; [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I just had this memory flash of something from my childhood. For some reason I thought of the <em>old</em> old Toys R Us, the very back wall. I don&#8217;t remember what was there, wooden puzzles? Board games? Books? Something sort of boxy and flat like that. I seriously had not thought of that since &#8230; since the last time I saw that, I guess.</p>
<p>Now I remember the video/books section. I guess that&#8217;s what it was. Mostly I just remember the time we wanted to buy the Rugrats Christmas video (&#8220;The Santa Experience&#8221;).</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t know, it was just weird. There I was, working on a layout, and then <em>flash</em>, old Toys R Us. Trippy.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Disney music, movies</title>
		<link>http://flimsysilence.net/2006/02/02/disney-music-movies/</link>
		<comments>http://flimsysilence.net/2006/02/02/disney-music-movies/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 03 Feb 2006 01:53:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeidai</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Disney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memory]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://flimsysilence.net/?p=313</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I don&#8217;t know if there&#8217;s something wrong with this, but I have the music from Disneyland&#8217;s Main Street Electrical Parade on my computer, and it makes me happy. ^^ Also, last night, I listened to &#8220;Love&#8221; from Robin Hood, performed by Nancy Adams. When I read the title of the song I couldn&#8217;t recall how [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I don&#8217;t know if there&#8217;s something wrong with this, but I have the music from Disneyland&#8217;s Main Street Electrical Parade on my computer, and it makes me happy. ^^</p>
<p>Also, last night, I listened to &#8220;Love&#8221; from Robin Hood, performed by Nancy Adams. When I read the title of the song I couldn&#8217;t recall how it sounded, but I at least didn&#8217;t not remember it. Then when I listened to it &#8230; omigosh! I was a kid again! I haven&#8217;t heard it in the longest time. Robin Hood wasn&#8217;t one of the Disney movies my family watched often. Mainly because it&#8217;s taped at the end of an Anne of Green Gables/Avonlea movie. O.o We never figured out how or why that happened.</p>
<p>But I plan to buy the DVD for Robin Hood. heehee. I already bought the DVD of Bedknobs and Broomsticks. (Er, parents paid for it though. >.>) We used to have a tape of it, not a store-bought one, but it disappeared somewhere. One of the mysteries of our house. (Another item that disappeared <del>without a trace</del> <ins>leaving only the case</ins> was my mom&#8217;s tape of 60s girl groups.)</p>
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		<title>now you&#8217;re even older</title>
		<link>http://flimsysilence.net/2005/04/29/now-youre-even-older/</link>
		<comments>http://flimsysilence.net/2005/04/29/now-youre-even-older/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 29 Apr 2005 07:52:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeidai</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Television]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memory]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://flimsysilence.net/?p=20</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Oh yeah, another instance where I felt my age, although it didn&#8217;t make me feel older, exactly &#8230; just that a lot of time has gone by. Saturday I caught the last half of the one hour long All That special my brother was watching. It was so cool to see Kenan and Kel and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Oh yeah, another instance where I felt my age, although it didn&#8217;t make me feel older, exactly &#8230; just that a lot of time has gone by.</p>
<p>Saturday I caught the last half of the one hour long All That special my brother was watching. It was so cool to see Kenan and Kel and Josh! XD Then there was a commercial break or something and someone said it was the 10th Anniversary Special or something, and I just said, &#8220;<strong>Ten years?!</strong>&#8221; I remember everyone looking like kids, I remember Katrina (she was my favorite), I remember Angelique Bates (she was the first to leave, right?), I remember that chocolate show, and how it always either made me want chocolate or made my teeth hurt, I remember the Ross Perot Character &#8230;</p>
<p>It&#8217;s rather odd that I remember all this. O_o Because I don&#8217;t have much of a memory of &#8230; anything, really. My past, I mean. I remember only a few things &#8230; a few weird instances &#8230; and thoughts I had &#8230; snippets. It&#8217;s like there&#8217;re more holes than cheese, regarding my memories &#8230; but I think I realize that I remember a LOT about tv &#8230; sad, really. I remember the first time we watched Snick. ^^; For some reason everyone was all together in the living room. Erm. Daddy was at the dining room table reading the newspaper, but we were essentially in the same room &#8230; or &#8230; were we normally all in the same room? I really can&#8217;t remember. Oh well.</p>
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		<title>older than you&#8217;ve ever been&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://flimsysilence.net/2005/04/25/older-than-youve-ever-been/</link>
		<comments>http://flimsysilence.net/2005/04/25/older-than-youve-ever-been/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 26 Apr 2005 02:28:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeidai</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Thoughts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[introspective]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memory]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://flimsysilence.net/?p=19</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Okay, I don&#8217;t remember any other instances, but lately I&#8217;ve been getting hit with these moments where I go, Woah, I&#8217;m getting older. Like last Friday (or maybe it was the previous Friday) N was pulling out of the driveway and driving down the street and I just found it so odd that My Brother [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Okay, I don&#8217;t remember any other instances, but lately I&#8217;ve been getting hit with these moments where I go, <em>Woah</em>, I&#8217;m getting older.</p>
<p>Like last Friday (or maybe it was the previous Friday) N was pulling out of the driveway and driving down the street and I just found it so odd that My Brother Owns a Car. A whole, big, huge car. That is many many many times his size and weight. He&#8217;s never owned something so big. And he&#8217;s <em>in control</em> of it.</p>
<p>That may be odd enough &#8230; but I&#8217;m sure I&#8217;ve had that feeling at least once more.</p>
<p>And &#8230; I have a car. I don&#8217;t find that as odd for some reason. Maybe because of that whole &#8230; this is the oldest I&#8217;ve ever been, I can&#8217;t remember being older, all my previous memories are from the standpoint of &#8230; this is the oldest I&#8217;ve ever been.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m probably rambling. Oh well.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s not like I don&#8217;t like not being a kid anymore, or growing old (I hope I&#8217;m not that superficial >_>) &#8230; I guess it&#8217;s just how things change. I don&#8217;t go home after school every day anymore and play with my brothers!</p>
<p>I was thinking of Micro Machines either earlier today or over the weekend, also. Micro Machines? I don&#8217;t know, these little car things &#8230; smaller than Hot Wheels &#8230; they also sold these &#8230; playsets, or something, when they&#8217;re open the cars can drive all over them up in the mountain and down to the gas station, and when they&#8217;re closed it was a gasoline can. I forget what the other one was.</p>
<p>Bah! *goes about doing something else*</p>
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