Tag Archives: introspective

thoughts on words

Woooow, I just spent about two and a half hours reading blogs … hm hm hm … ^_^ (Okay so I guess a good portion of that time was spent reading Noelle and SM00’s convo. O_o;;)

So, some thoughts I had. Do people really know me over the internet? If they were to meet me in real life, would I be different? Would they not like that?

I think people know my brain. But I don’t know if they’d like me or not. I don’t think it’s much of a difference, the way I think versus the way I act, just slight.

Mainly I’m thinking about the way I talk online as opposed to in real life. Like, I don’t really say “wow,” for instance (or at least I don’t think so). I don’t say “hm” irl. I wouldn’t say “a good portion.” I guess I’d say “a lot.” I don’t think I’d say “was spent” (I’d say “I was” :x).

The only problem is, those words are in my brain. They are words I use. Just not in normal, vocal conversation. ^_^;; So people know me me, right? But I’m not “me me” in public.

The argument would then be, who is the real me? The person I am around other people, which would be the me “everyone” knows about? Or the person I am alone, when I’ve had time to think and such? Hm. They’re both me. Right. But then, I have two mes? Ooh. People change when they’re around different groups. ^_^ *nodnod* It’s true. I would think.

Wouldn’t the way a person is when he’s alone be the essence of that person, then? I don’t know. I forget what I was thinking now. ^_^;;;

layouts, colors

Please come with me
See what I see
Touch the stars for time will not flee

I noticed lately that a lot of my layouts up have black and red. IAT with Michelle Branch, my lj with the bloody splotches, this blog with the reddish CG, and my diary with the “crimson stain.” It’s a rather interesting observation. Isn’t it? I don’t think this has any scary implications, but then again, things are kind of getting to me. :/ Oh, nothing really horrible, I’m still so happy and content with my life. ^_^ Even if I am with SM00 5 days a week. :b I’m kidding.

Hm, in the last month or two … I’ve made eight layouts. Two are grey, four are black with red in it, one is (was, actually) red with black in it, one is rather pnik *rolleyes*, and one was blackish with peppermintiness. Do I even like to make bright layouts? That’s a rather interesting question … 40–46, light layouts leading. ^.^;; But again, I count the nondark layouts as light ones, so drab grey ones would be counted as light layouts. Yeh … I don’t ever use candy colors or anything. :/ Rarely, but that’s when it fits the picture.

stupid thought, disliking

I can’t stand disliking people. I don’t mean everyone in general, I mean me, personally, disliking someone. There’s too much energy going into it. Calories … strength … good-minded feelings … yeah, good feelings get eaten up by the dislike. Interesting. Um … so yeah, I haven’t found the exact word I want yet.

There’s even more willpower going into it to not dislike someone. I’ve gotta find something about a person I like, or don’t mind, and remember that dearly, to make the dislike go away.

Britney Spears doesn’t count. Because I’m over disliking her. Or even trying to not dislike her and find something I don’t mind about her. Now I’m just laughing at her. ^_^ Much easier on my well-being.